Her Lifeline
by Edeline Celena
Summary: He was her lifeline in spite of everything and she loved him for that. Please review!


Her Lifeline

If anyone had told Katara years ago that she would have played a part in saving the world, she would have laughed. If anyone had told her that she was destined to become one of the greatest waterbenders in the world, she would have eyed them skeptically. Of course, now that had all changed. Someone could tell her that her brother could fly, and given enough evidence, she would believe them.

She couldn't say when exactly her outlook had changed. She supposed it was somewhere between the time she had left her home and journeyed around the world to the time she returned home. All she was certain of was that she was no longer the skeptical, cynical girl she had been. She had changed. Until she came home and adopted the same skeptical attitude again.

Reflecting upon herself, she realized another thing. She had never classified herself as the type of girl who spent hours moping, but she realized she might as well for all she was doing. True happiness seemed a thing of the past. She could smile and laugh when she wanted, but she no longer wanted to. Everything she did was forced.

It must have been then that she realized what her family and friends meant to her. They were her sustenance. Without them, every day would probably pass in the same monotonous schedule of chores, paperwork, and half-hearted waterbending practice. Without them, she probably would have retreated into herself and died quite young. But she was still living. For now.

It must have also been around this time that she realized why. Her family and friends were her nourishment, they kept her going. But a certain Avatar was her lifeline. He was the blood running through her veins, the air she breathed, everything. Everything she did reminded her of him and yet she knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that she was almost certainly nothing to him. She only knew she was hanging on by a thread and it was threatening to snap.

She couldn't say when she adopted this pessimistic outlook, but she had adopted it all the same. She had gone from a skeptic to a believer and come back full circle. Once she would have believed that friendship meant as much to her friends as it did to her, but know she wasn't so sure. If it had meant anything, wouldn't he have come back? Try as she might, she could never convince herself that he cared. After all, he had left her with nothing but a broken heart and an empty promise.

She mentally cursed herself over that. Who had she been in thinking that the Avatar would need her? She was a chief's daughter yet her title and social rank were still dwarfed by his. Why on earth would he need her? All he had needed was a waterbending master and since she had learned the art quicker than he had, she had taught him. He no longer needed her as a teacher and whether he needed her as a friend or not was up to him. He could forget about her for all she cared.

But then why was it all so painful? Why did it hurt to think of him and her other friends when she didn't care? She knew the answer well enough but still asked herself the same questions over and over again. She could lie to everyone, but she couldn't lie to herself. She didn't want to care, but she did, and that was the sad fact of the matter. No matter how much she wanted to deny it, she really, truly cared.

It must have been a combination of recent events and her pessimism that made her believe he felt absolutely nothing towards her. And the sad part, she realized, was that she believed it, despite the nagging voice in her head that told her otherwise. How could she help herself? Hadn't he left her? Hadn't he disappeared after promising to return? He had and so she had come to believe he had found another girl who was more worthy of him, a girl who could do extraordinary things and could make him forget her. He would be happy and she was determined to forget him even if it cost her her life.

There was just one problem with her plan. He was her lifeline and she hated him for that. Somehow, all those months of being together, all those years of friendship had made her so dependent on him and she cursed her stupidity. Why had she allowed herself to fall? Why hadn't she done anything? But as quick as these thoughts flashed through her mind, she knew the answer. She laughed softly. She couldn't have done anything, even if she wanted to. He was, in spite of everything, her lifeline and she loved him for that.

One never plans these things but they happen all the same. She hadn't planned on falling or planned on being so dependent, yet she was. But she wasn't happy. Life suddenly seemed like hell. She found little pleasure in waterbending or reminiscing, little pleasure in talking to her grandparents or her brother who had found happiness, and no pleasure in sleeping because when she slept she dreamt of him. That was why, more often than not, she wandered the frozen tundra on icy cold nights like this one, alone. But tonight, she wasn't entirely alone.

"Katara?"

Her heart must stopped beating or put her through some kind of life threatening problem because she suddenly saw her life flash before her eyes. There were so many memories that flooded through her that she would have broken down had she not had years of practice on how to remain composed.

"Katara?" the voice asked again.

"Go away," She mumbled without turning back. She knew herself well enough to know that even one quick glance would shatter the façade she was trying so desperately to maintain. But it became evident that the figure behind her wasn't leaving so she did something she normally wouldn't do. She ran. She knew the attempt was futile because he could easily keep up with her, but she ran all the same, hoping against hope he wouldn't follow her. But he did.

"Leave me alone," she said, when she heard the ice crunch behind her and noticed his shadow outlined by the light of the waxing moon.

"I'm not leaving until you give me some answers. Why won't you talk to me?"

She remained silent, mentally cursing herself for the sudden rush of emotions that flooded through her.

"Katara…"

"You want answers?" She turned around to face him and instantly regretted doing so. For a moment, she couldn't get the words out of her mouth but she willed herself to talk. "You left for five years and promised you'd come back, but you didn't."

"It's not like I didn't try," he said, defensively.

"I'm sure you did," she retorted, flinching ever so slightly at the harsh tone she used.

"Not fair," Aang protested. "You're acting like I disappeared. I didn't."

"You might as well have," Katara muttered. "Did you expect to come back and find everything exactly the same?"

"No," he said. "Honestly, I was hoping you'd forget about me."

"Why?" This time, she looked up to meet his gaze. He was taller than her now but his stormy grey eyes were just as unreadable as the last time she gazed into them and it bothered her. Once, she would have been able to read them.

He shrugged. "Somehow, I didn't think you'd like it."

"Like what?" she whispered.

"Always running around, moving from place to place."

"You left because you thought I didn't care?" She couldn't conceal the incredulity in her voice.

He laughed softly and her heart wrenched painfully. "No, I left because I had Avatar duties to do."

"And you didn't think I would like them so you just left me here? Well thanks," she said sarcastically. "My life of chores and paperwork here was way more fun. And I just love being an emotional wreck." He stared at her quizzically and for a moment, Katara felt tears stab at the back of her eyes and threaten to fall. She continued, not because she had anything to say, but because she didn't trust herself to stay composed if and when he replied. "And I guess you wanted me to forget about everything so you could just find someone else and…" Her voice faltered and she stopped talking. God, she sounded so weak and stupid. What happened to that strength she possessed? Why was her courage failing her now of all times?

"Actually, no," There was a sincerity about his response that forced Katara to believe him. "Honestly, you're probably better off without me."

At this Katara's gaze, which had been occupied by the moon, snapped back to him. She had spent years believing that he didn't care and that even if he did, she wasn't worth anything to him, that she wasn't worthy of him when _he _thought he wasn't worthy of her.

"What?" she managed to choke.

"Sokka didn't tell you?" Aang asked. Katara shook her head and frowned. "Two years ago, when he and Zuko came with me to see the Earth King, we were attacked by a bunch of rebels. In spite of everything, we barely managed to make it out in one piece."

"But you're the Avatar!"

He chuckled. "Sokka said the same thing, but I can't go around killing every rebel I see."

"So you…"

"I left because I had work to do and I didn't come back because somehow I didn't think you'd like being in danger all the time."

"It beats life down here," Katara muttered.

Aang smiled. "We both know you don't mean that."

Katara shrugged. "Maybe I don't but it's still boring down here. I don't even know why you came. I mean if you're looking for good times, you made a wrong turn at the Fire Nation."

"This is going to sound really rude, but if it was up to me, I wouldn't have come. I only came because Sokka kept writing letters to me and telling me to come. It was starting to get kind of weird."

Katara's eyes narrowed. "You really think I would forget just like that?"

"Sort of just hoping," he muttered, sheepishly.

"Well I wouldn't have," she shot back. "And did you suddenly turn into Sokka? Did you leave me behind because I was a girl and girls just don't like danger?"

"I never said my leaving had anything to do with you being a girl."

"So I'm a liability, then?" Her eyes flashed with anger. "Is that why I was left behind?"

"No."

"Then I'd like to know why?" It took every fiber of her being to make it sound like she was upset. She was tired and frankly, she didn't know how much longer she could hold on.

"You can be so infuriating sometimes, you know?"

"You're not answering the question."

Without warning, he kissed her. She stiffened under his embrace at first, but all the self-control she had mustered melted away quicker than she ever imagined. Her heart seemed to explode within her and she couldn't even form a coherent sentence in her head.

"Does that answer your question?" he asked softly, pulling away.

"Why?" she whispered, suddenly wondering if this was a dream because it certainly felt like one.

"Why what?"

"Why'd you choose me? You could have had anyone else."

He shrugged. "What if I didn't care about anyone else? Believe it or not, not as many people are nice. They're friendly but they treat me like the Firelord or royalty and it get's annoying after a while."

"But I'm just Katara."

"So?"

"You'll find me very boring, especially here."

"Have been _you _copying Sokka and drinking cactus juice? Two seconds ago you were upset because I left and now because I came back?"

"No I'm glad you came back. I just didn't think you'd want to."

"You thought wrong." His kiss caught her completely off guard again but she didn't care anymore. She was hanging on by a thread and it had snapped. And she had most definitely fallen, but it didn't matter. In the end, she always had her lifeline.


End file.
